I was thinking today about where I'm at in my head. As a lead worshipper, Merrill Lynch employee, married man & follwer of christ specifically.
Honestly, these are the main things that I'm doing/being these days (NOT in the aforementioned order). & just realizing that in all of these (except for marriage which is new) I've been through the cycle:
I've started excited and full of life......then over time (usually years), come to a content, complacent place where I've come so far and gotten tired/haggard/bored.....felt rejuvenanated and repurposed for these pursuits of life.....then gotten tired/haggard/bored.....etc.etc.
The realization I had tonight in my 15 dinner break from class...was vision.
That all these things get very boring, very normal and domesticated. Even the passion for the king of the universe...the greatest of all passions & hopes....gets domesticated. Thats messed up.
But the key...is VISION. Purpose, vision, mission...keeping my eye on my 'dreams' and what I know is the goal.
I actually came across this when thinking about work. That i've been busy just doing BS stuff (that has to get done). compared to completing and moving towards the objectives the I have set for myself for the year. Things that are honestly out of my current reach, yet aspiring to. & that I need to get my head out of the complacent/easy psedo-content place & 'fix my eyes on the prize'.
& how that is the way following Christ. I had a GREAT friend who 'mentored' me in the faith and leadership from a very young age. & one of the biggest things I think she subconsciously showed me was dreaming big...& vision for the things of the kingdom. I want to dream big again. & be looking at the forest, instead of my tree.
Another thing I realized is that our marriage doesn't have a definite vision, purpose, dreams yet. I mean, we (to steal a MattTism) are lifers for Christ. & leaders in the kingdom. And we know some of what that will look like....but the specifics of our life together are not yet determined (atleast as far as I know). As I think my friends have shared....that will come with time. In the short time we have been married the Lord has been speaking and showing that to both of us, honestly, faster than I expected.
More on this later. I have been thinking about how it pertains to leading people and leading worship.