Thursday, March 27 

Thats RIGHT! I'm blogging 2 TIMES IN ONE DAY!!
Check out T Hunter's blog today.
This is the vision, foresight & dreamings that I was talking about yesterday.

Honestly, its not that I agree with Todd 100% on could you argue with this???:

Rant: �to talk in a noisy, excited, bombastic, extravagant and declaratory (to set forth or explain) way�.

Well, here goes, another first for Hunter�my first cyber-rant!!!!!

It�s been week since I last blogged. I didn�t have any inspiration. Even this morning my all-things-technology-coach, Eric, was imploring me to write�still no inspiration. Then I checked my email� I am normally a VERY patient person; ask anyone who knows me well. But, this (just so happens, Vineyard) pastor ticked me off. He told a lady in his church �he had problems with my �re-imagining� God.�

First, I�ve never talked or written about re-imaging God. I�ve talked AND WILL CONINUE to talk about re-imaging the church and what it actually means to be a Christian. I am not ashamed about trying to align my life with the aims of God with regard to his desire for an obedient people who would live in his Story as the ambassadors of his Kingdom. If this makes me dangerous, �unbiblical and questionable�, then bring it on!

I am in good company with all the reformers�not least Wimber. (I can remember when the Vineyard was reform and change minded, not defensive and protectionist of a past that will never be recaptured or relived. Get over it�do what your hero Wimber said, �take the best and GO!� Move on, grow, have his guts, don�t become like one of his many critics sitting in the stands commentating and criticizing while others are actually being players) Not that it ultimately matters, but I feel I am in line with Wimber trying to understand the full implications of the Gospel of the Kingdom. Doesn�t it make sense that if we are to do this it might require re-thinking some theology?

Second, bring before your conscious mind your imagination about God. Do you suppose that imagination is absolutely, 100% correct? If not, and I�m sure mine is flawed, what would be wrong, theoretically, with �re-imagining God�? I am a biblically and theologically driven person. I would never change except as guided by superior insights. I would happily admit to being wrong about something and change. Does this make me a dangerous person? I think the dangerous person is the one unwilling to change and grow as the Spirit gives more insight (See John 14-16, I John 2 & I Cor. 12-14). The questionable person is the lazy pastor preaching �Sermon Services� sermons and refusing to become a learner for themselves. No significant move forward for the church has ever came that way; nor can it.

For the life of me, I cannot imagine why anyone would be satisfied with �church as we have know it�. And aren�t current forms of church rooted in our imaginations about church/Christianity/God? Further, they are rooted in a �reality� that no longer exists in their former ways�modernity and Christendom. To quote my friend Brain Mc Laren, �if you have a new world, you need a new church�. Not in a pragmatic sense (at least not for me), but PM and PC provide a �prophetic� reason to re-examine our approaches to theology and church. Thank God, or I may have never done it. I may have stayed in the conservative evangelical reductionisms of �being a Christian means saying a prayer so that you can go to heaven when you die�.

How can anyone defend the �born again� church people like Barna (thank you George), Gallop and the sociologists of religion describe? And be sure, this form of religion is rooted in deficient ideas/imaginations about God/Jesus/The Spirit/their aims, etc. And if you can�t defend it, then darn it--get busy changing it! Forget the carping, fearful, lazy�I can�t do too much change --I might lose my paycheck�people.

Wow, rants sound more defensive than I like to be�oops�I guess I need to learn to rant.


A littler Eric has entered blogdom.
He has been reading some really heady stuff....and it shows...he uses big words...

He's a good kid, though...we won't hold it against him.

Please welcome him.

Wednesday, March 26 

Once again I have been delinquent with my blogging...Not as delinquent as MikeT, though. If you get a chance...and you know him...shoutout to him. Just keep the obscenities to a minimum.

I was thinking today about where I'm at in my head. As a lead worshipper, Merrill Lynch employee, married man & follwer of christ specifically.
Honestly, these are the main things that I'm doing/being these days (NOT in the aforementioned order). & just realizing that in all of these (except for marriage which is new) I've been through the cycle:
I've started excited and full of life......then over time (usually years), come to a content, complacent place where I've come so far and gotten tired/haggard/bored.....felt rejuvenanated and repurposed for these pursuits of life.....then gotten tired/haggard/bored.....etc.etc.

The realization I had tonight in my 15 dinner break from class...was vision.
That all these things get very boring, very normal and domesticated. Even the passion for the king of the universe...the greatest of all passions & hopes....gets domesticated. Thats messed up.
But the VISION. Purpose, vision, mission...keeping my eye on my 'dreams' and what I know is the goal.

I actually came across this when thinking about work. That i've been busy just doing BS stuff (that has to get done). compared to completing and moving towards the objectives the I have set for myself for the year. Things that are honestly out of my current reach, yet aspiring to. & that I need to get my head out of the complacent/easy psedo-content place & 'fix my eyes on the prize'.

& how that is the way following Christ. I had a GREAT friend who 'mentored' me in the faith and leadership from a very young age. & one of the biggest things I think she subconsciously showed me was dreaming big...& vision for the things of the kingdom. I want to dream big again. & be looking at the forest, instead of my tree.

Another thing I realized is that our marriage doesn't have a definite vision, purpose, dreams yet. I mean, we (to steal a MattTism) are lifers for Christ. & leaders in the kingdom. And we know some of what that will look like....but the specifics of our life together are not yet determined (atleast as far as I know). As I think my friends have shared....that will come with time. In the short time we have been married the Lord has been speaking and showing that to both of us, honestly, faster than I expected.

More on this later. I have been thinking about how it pertains to leading people and leading worship.

Friday, March 21 

LSF rocked CB's Lounge last night.
Vinepod sponsered this night, which was a good night of music and photography, and siki's WAY COOL art, and hanging out.
The bands (that I saw) were good. Nobot rocks, LSF pulled it off, and Kaz just always rocks my world in a Japanese/Lennon/Lounge sort of way. UnfortunatIy I missed Nonfiction, but I got to hang with Dan and chat for a while afterward. AND I got an early edition of the Nonfiction CD b/c I'm doing their website. I listened for a bit this morning. Its totally cool. I started crying....just because it reminded me of being at the feet of my king. MattT wrote this way cool song that went over REALLY well last night. and I can't get those words out of my mind. "...So far but so close..."

Erica is freaking out about now. and I don't know exactly why or what. I want to be a good husband. And also fulfill what I know we are to do and be about. So....figuring that out.

+Just do with us as you please. Keep us in check. Pierce through what E is going through.+

Thursday, March 20 

so many puzzling things about the world around us...

war. I'm for it.. But I can honestly say I don't understand EVERYTHING surrounding it (as I'm sure non of us know really). & I too have been thinking about the pacifists among us, and honestly Peter is the only one that I really, really take seriously. I don't know Peter very well...but I know enough to know that he is totally smart, sensible, and cosmopolitan (he is a brit for god's sake) enough to know about foreign type things.

Its interesting that Todd Hunter (among others) have posted thoughts in the past week (that I have been more or less absent from blogdom) that have corresponded with my own.
I was thinking about all I know about Allelon and their mission (which is just what I've talked with and blogged with you people about). I have been thinking about and through the concepts of community and what a community of my people who follow christ could/should/will look like in the not-so-distant future. And comparing (now, I know this may not be fair, but it was what I was doing) the concepts of Allelon to one of the communities that we are apart of right now. Just that this community of believers on LI is a close knit group. They do care for eachother and are trying to live more like Christ. And my biggest question something like Allelon doing a better job at it? Then leading to....why fix something if it ain't broken?? Well, after thinking more....I realized that I have to get a bigger view (forest from the trees) of what 'it' is. Obviously its following Jesus. But in some sociological sense? I mean, we are talking about people. and leading groups of thinking about the best way lead followers of Jesus into the fullness and beautifulness of it all will include a sociological though pattern. I will pick up on this again....

I have not tried to breach that topic again in the past couple of days. War, work, ROCK and working out our personal stuff has come though more.

That being said. If you're in the NY area, come to CBs Lounge TONIGHT!
Nonfiction, Nobot, Lost Sheep Found, & I think Kaz are playing with some other cool art and.....I hear theres FREE FOOD.

disclaimer=I realize my thoughts above my not be 'religiously correct'. Don't hold me to it...its my freaking thoughts. by all means, SHOUT OUT.

Wednesday, March 12 

So, yeah I've really been wierd lately. Thankfully I (we) have good friends that love us despite our wierdnessess.
The body of Christ is truely so wonderful. I mean, I just think about the incredible bond that I have had with people I have never met before, from the other side of the earth...all b/c we really actually are siblings under our Popa.

I saw a news report the other day about these 2 Mexican identical twins that were separated at birth and adopted by differnet families. Amazingly they both ended up growing up in the NY metro area. One on the upperEastside the other on Long Island. They met eachother for the first time at college. and said that from first sight they connected. Ends up they had some wierd twin thing, like they dreamed the same dreams as kids (like nighttime dreams), and liked the same foods, etc., etc.

Just like our brothers and sisters in Christ. Its totally cool.

My class is ending...I'm out of here to go see my beautiful,tired wife.

I'll blog in the teacher brought up the Brady Bunch...such a weird American enigma....

+ Thanks Lord for everything. And please don't move away from us. Keep us close and moving in YOUR direction. +

Tuesday, March 11 

Thanks all you guys for your shout outs.
I got interupted with an emergency phone call yesterday when I was finishing my blog.

Once again, don't get me wrong....Marraige to Erica is totally wonderful. Despite all of the crap that we're dealing with and going through, just waking up next to her in the morning is so worth all of it. & I know she feels the same way.

yeah, so you know how sometimes you just have $%#@y days? Yesterday ended up being one of them. In a nutshell....frantic phone call of family-member crisis spewing stuff from the past back on car breaks down...we're carting huge bags of laundry down Columbia St at 10PM...Erica has to use public transportation at 5:30AM to get to school...the public transportation system 'fails' to deliver as needed & my sweet has to take a cab from Jamaica back to LI to get to her class so that the professor doesn't drop her...we're still awaiting friend-of-family member (who is in crisis) to call and spew more (praying not though)....

So thats it. I've vented. The Lord is in this,though. I know he is moving. And I know that we're not alone.
In the midst of it last night....we ended up just taking some time and worshipping, reading, and remembering our Lord's great mercy and love for us over the years...even (especially) when we didn't know it. It found that as a pattern for me (most times). When things get real crappy....I'm ?humble? enough to stop and meet with the liberator again & again.

Not that it makes things un-crappy...but is just hope and the growing knowledge of being held by the huge hand of the universe who knows my every hair.

Monday, March 10 

Once again I haven't blogged in some time. I do apologize (Eric please don't rip my arms off!).
I have been enjoying the joys and challenges of marriage...especially the beginning of this life-long journey.

Those who are closest to us know some of the crap that has been coming up. But believe me it has been deep and difficult. We both have come from broken homes, resulting in us both having warped views on marriage, relationship, life, God, etc. This has been affecting really all of the meaningful relationships in our life. Thank God the He is totally merciful and kind to us as we stumble along this thing. and thank Him for the people around us who have mercy and love on us.

Marrage to Erica really is interesting. She is very kind, compassionate, and gentle. But when something triggers those deeply broken places inside of her heart, she just can't handle it. Its not that she can't handle people around her....more that she can't handle herself. and I can see the frustration in her eyes as she struggles to know the truth and reality that will set her free.

Don't hear this the wrong way. She is my doll. I love her so much...and I couldn't imagine going through this life without her. She is totally gorgeous and smart and creative and just loving. I love the way she pursues Jesus. It puts me in awe.

...I just got a frantic call....+Please help..redeem us and just let your hs be in our home. Don't leave us alone+...

Wednesday, March 5 

I was thinking on the way into work today....I hope my last post didn't seem antisemetic or anything. I like Hasidic Jews fine! I just don't understand their culture. Just clearing that up (not that MattT or Keck are gonna care).

The testimony and conversation of the church together is so powerful. We were at a small group meeting last night....honestly, b/c we had to have been. BUT the discussion of God's love for us came up. In a room of like 20 people I heard many different stories and ways that people relate to God and how he relates to them (in love, of course). Things like his disicpline, him not giving up on us, & his tender touch were all talked about.

It was pretty cool. Made me think about I think about a story in the bible where I think Paul gave his testimony (basically told a story) and the Spirit fell on the meeting of people. Thats what happened last night. It was refreshing.

+THanks Lord. Please keep on me. Don't give up.+

Tuesday, March 4 

so, I'm back in blogland.
work has totally been busy... a bit stressful...but more just busy.
which is GREAT b/c it means i have a job.

Hasidic Jews....I don't get it.
I know this is proving my ignorance, but I just don't get it.
There are a couple of Hasidic Jews at work and I see them on the subway everyday. Its not that I'm coming down on them for the different external things, like their clothes, or (to me) wierd hair style, or beards, or even those things that some have dangling from their belts....

but more, I want to know what is behind those external things. Honestly, I have never had a relationship or anything more than a frustrating discussion with a Hasidic jew at B& I totally can't judge or even begin to understand.

Its just boggling to me, though. I mean, I got on the elevator today. Its a 1 minute ride (if not less) up to our floors. and this older guy, a hasidic jew, breaks out his 'bible', written in hebrew and just reading it. Thats way cool. Dedication. but to what? a culture? a god? What is this guy's hope in? Many of them just seem very sad to me.

at the same time I (a self proclaimed follower of god) get in the elevator like beavis or butthead, thinking something like "shaft, he he. elevator shaft, he he." Not that theres anything wrong with B&B....or laughing and joking around. I obviously have that freedom.

but I want to learn about these guys.

I think to many people christians seem to be on the same page as Hasidic Jews. Purposely out of the culture of the day, out to lunch, just believing what they tell us. Jesus was TOTALLY not like that.

enlighten my ignorance...

Monday, March 3 

good morning.

I'll blog more later.

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  • I'm kp
  • From Brooklyn, New York, United States
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